in the 386...

so i'm in port orange at the folks' place. near daytona, near the beach, but all retirement community. pretty tranquil here-- the loudest sound comes from the golf carts whizzing by, ushering the bluehairs to the 3pm early bird special at the on-site restaurant.

the drive over was actually pretty good-- pepper and i went through my beatles catalogue, and she picked out a couple of morrison cds too. she threw me off by knowing 'nowhere man' before she heard it with me, showing full well that the kid is developing her own musical tastes even without my oppressive influence. we talked about what music she likes best, and she surprised me by saying that she preferred the doors to the beatles. there's a reason behind that that i'm not aware of yet, but it's not just to please me. that much i know.

i'm treating this bit of time off like a good, warm bath-- you know, the kind you just gradually slide in, bit by bit, and let wash all around you. the week of reading. the week of curbing some nagging addictions. the week of watching the kid when the kid doesn't realize i'm watching. the week to make sure everything is on track in the 3 year plan, and the opportunity to add things i've not yet thought of.

so right now i'm tranquil. i'm determined. i'm focused. i want out of the redundancy (and when i say redundancy, i mean the placing myself in impossible-to-win situations) that's become my life. i think that's the most important thing i've gleaned so far-- i may very well intentionally, albeit subconsciously, sabotage myself. it would make sense, wouldn't it?