two

i'm reading 'zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance'. sure, everyone has heard of it, some have actually read it, but i'm trying my best to understand it. this comes at a price.

the problem is that i'm not a philosopher. well, not a classically trained philosopher. wait, that brings up a problem presented in the book- the way that classical and romantic are at odds. so what does it mean to be a classically trained philosopher (maybe Kant or Hume? I don't know). anyway, this is the first year i've delved into any philosophical writing--- i've been content all this time to find the meaning of life in notes, chord progressions, and key changes (you musical people will know what i'm talking about), but it seems that i've neglected the challenging word far too long. you know, those books that you can only read 4 pages at a time because you're more confused at the end than from the beginning. those are the books i'm going to read this year. i don't know what changes will come, or if any will come. maybe i'll stumble onto something i can use. maybe i'll figure out some things. maybe i'll go all j.d. salinger and become a hermit. we'll find out.

as a complete aside, have you ever had someone look at you, truly look at you, and you didn't mind? where you weren't put off, apprehensive, or horrified? you lose time.

and to wrap up the week, a good friend of mine suddenly died. i could ramble and say a lot more, but i think it would be the usual canned remarks people make when someone dies. i don't want to do that. i just feel badly about it.